


Revenge

by Nikky_the_writer



Category: Black Panther (2018), Marvel, Marvel Cinematic Universe
Genre: Erik Killmonger Angst, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-03-09
Updated: 2018-03-09
Packaged: 2019-03-29 04:54:51
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 4
Words: 9,763
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13919796
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Nikky_the_writer/pseuds/Nikky_the_writer
Summary: You have abilities to manipulate with people, making them see whatever you want. As a child, you were held in the government facility, but Ulysses Klaue took you and he is like a father to you now.One day when your phone doesn’t ring when it should be, you know that something went wrong and you are sure that your ex-lover Erik had something to do with it.





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> This is my first time posting here and I decided to post for Erik that I'm also posting on my account on Tumblr.
> 
> Don’t read if you didn’t watch the movie yet, I think that there are spoilers or could be in the future parts!! Past is written in italic!!
> 
> Warning: cursing….

* * *

 

You were different from the start. However, you weren’t aware of what was happening to you or to people that were close to you. So it came to you as a shock when you woke up one day after a horrible nightmare only to find your parents dead, not realizing that you were the one who killed them. You were three years old when they died and the same day you were taken away. Having the ability to manipulate other people minds; to drove them crazy, your life changed instantly, but not for the better, for the worse. Every day experiments were being proceeded on you, your flesh was cut open, you were broken even erased at one point. The only thing for what you could hope for was for the pain to completely vain and it happened a few months after your eleventh birthday.

 

˝Dad, don’t do that˝, you were angry and a bit scared for your father who just shrugged it of.

˝I will be alright, love.˝ He ruffled your hair passing by your chair at the table.

˝I know that you want to sell it, but to them, to the government!? Why would you risk it?˝ Standing up, you stared at his tired face.

He scratched the back of his neck before moving his fingers through his partially gray beard. ˝It doesn’t matter to whom I sell it, they are offering the highest price. I would be stupid to pass that opportunity.˝

˝No, you are being stupid right now. We got money, and you are still doing shit like that! Didn’t you learn your lesson with Ultron? You lost your fucking hand!?˝ Your voice was raised and probably heard outside your home, but your father didn’t try to calm you down.

˝When did you start swearing like that? I don’t remember raising you like that.˝ He was standing a few feet away from you just observing your face. He only started hating what he did because of you. When he found you, you were a kid, a smart and gifted one. From the day he found you he took care of you, always making sure that you were alright.

˝Really?˝ You rolled your eyes at him and he only stepped closer pulling you into his arms. ˝I hate you.˝ Your voice was muffled by his white button up, but he heard you.

˝What did I told you about lying?˝ He asked through laughter.

˝I’m not lying I do hate you.˝

˝I wish you did than I would be able to distance myself from you.˝ He held you tight against his chest somehow fearing that it will be the last opportunity to do so.

˝Is this the last one, no lies, alright?˝ You moved a bit from him to glanced at his face.

˝Yeah and then I’ll retire.˝

˝That sounds good.˝  You couldn’t hide your smile.

˝I have to go now, but I will see you soon. I promise.˝ Placing his palm on your chin he moved closer kissing your forehead.

˝Is Erik going with you?˝ You asked not showing any emotions for the mentioned man.

˝He will be around, why? Do you still have a crush on that crazy American?˝ He asked rolling his sleeve while you helped him with the other.

˝Don’t trust him.˝ You said quietly.

˝You never told me how you got involved with the man like him.˝

˝It’s a story for another day, but what could you even expect when I never went to school or talked to anyone normal? It’s kinda your fault.˝ You said through the smile. Although you were never like other kids you never held it against your father. You knew that he tried to keep you safe and that the only way of doing that was if you didn’t exist anywhere on the paper and your face away from security cameras.

˝Don’t worry, I only trust you. Everything will be alright, you just rest and don’t forget to take your pills, you have to get some sleep.˝ He hugged you once again before leaving and neither of you was aware that it will be the last time that you were seeing each other.

 

* * *

 

_You were walking down the street with sunglasses hiding your eyes and baseball cap under your hood. Whenever you would go in the city with your father you had to make yourself unrecognizable for all the security cameras afraid that you will be taken again. The biggest problem was that you weren’t held in some evil lair, but in the government agency that wanted to use your abilities. You used to live with your father in London, but you both moved to America a few months ago just for a while. Both of you rarely left your house that was away from the city and people where you could train and practice shooting without anybody seeing you. It wasn’t a perfect life, but it was your life._

_˝Hello, Henry˝, you said politely to the old man behind the counter in the old bookstore. This place except your house was your safe haven. There were no cameras inside; it was mostly empty ad Henry was old barely seeing anything that was in front of him._

_Placing your bag on the nearby desk you moved your sunglasses tugging them into the collar of your knitted blue sweater. You still kept your cap on pulling the white paper from your pocket where you wrote names of the books you needed. It took you a half an hour to find three books and you were still at the beginning of your list. Placing the books next to your bag you walked back to the shelves searching for six more books._

_You were holding four books in your hand trying to decide if you should go back to the front to place them on the table, but you decided against it, so that was why you were struggling now to pick a book from the top shelf._

_˝Do you need some help?˝_

_Your whole body went stiff at the unfamiliar voice. Slowly turning around you were met with a tall man that kept his eyes on you. The first thing you noticed was his posture and before you could stop yourself you ask: ˝Are you a soldier?˝_

_You could see on his face that he was taken by surprise with your question so you tried to explain._

_˝I have grown up around soldiers, I can easily recognize one when I see them.˝_

_˝You are a military child?˝ He asked quickly._

_˝Not really, but I did grow up in the military base. What about you?˝ You said leaving out the main details._

_˝It’s a long story.˝_

_˝If you don’t want to say, you just don’t have to say, I won’t force it out of you˝, you shrugged your shoulders._

_He licked his lower lip stunned by your words; nobody is that forward with him. ˝What are you studying?˝ He decided to change the subject glancing to the books you were holding in your hands they were mostly about genetic manipulation and human behavior._

_˝I’m not a student. I’ve been homeschooled almost my entire life.˝_

_˝Oh, alright, but why are you interested in gene….˝_

_˝Look sorry, but I didn’t come here for the small talk. I actually have to buy books and go home before my father comes for me. You asked if you could help, well could you just hand me that big red book?˝ You asked quickly knowing that you were already too long in here while your father waited for you in the car a few streets away._

_˝Yeah, sorry for bothering you.˝ He quickly grabbed the book handing it to you._

_˝I really didn’t want to sound rude, but I’m in a hurry.˝_

_˝That’s alright.˝ He put his hands in his pocket still standing in front of you while you just stared at him not understanding why he was still there._

_˝Did you need something from me or?˝ You asked slowly._

_˝Could you give me your phone so that I put my number in it if you would ma…˝_

_˝I don’t have a phone.˝ You quickly answered. You were lying, but he didn’t have to know that. In your possession was a phone which number knew only one person, your father and it was meant for him to inform you that he was alive after every business._

_˝Oh, really?˝ He asked genuine surprised because everybody had phones nowadays and you nodded. ˝Do you have a pen?˝_

_You gave him the pen that you had in your back pocket so that you could cross books from your list. He took the pen grazing his fingers with yours and opening the first page of the book he handed you. After he wrote his number he smiled at you giving you back your pen._

_You didn’t know what to do so you walked pass him murmuring goodbye while heading to the table to pick other books and to go to the counter completely forgetting about one more book on your list. You stopped in your tracks turning around when you heard his voice._

_˝I’m Erik.˝_

_You only smiled at him before turning your back to him._

 

* * *

 

 ˝Why are you not ringing?!˝ You screamed at your phone. It passed five hours and the call never came. You stayed awake during the night still waiting for it to ring, but it still didn’t. Picking up the phone you searched for the paper with the numbers of the payphones that your father used. You called all four numbers, but they were all unanswered. You couldn’t stop the tears from your eyes as you screamed in the empty house. He was dead and you were sure of it and you knew whose fault it had to be. So you quickly took one of the payphones and dialed the number to which you stopped answering more than fifteen months ago. It rang a few times before you heard the familiar voice.

˝Who is this?˝

You scoffed at his question laughing while the tears were still making their trail to your jaw.

˝I will kill you, Erik.˝ When you sad it, you meant it. Just like your father you were also an assassin, you weren’t known as one because your father would arrange everything and one of you would do the job.

˝Y/N?˝ Your voice surprised him, but mostly the broken tone of it. ˝Y/N?˝ He asked again, but you already hung up. He didn’t know that Ulysses Klaue was your father, you never told him that although you were the one that set up the meeting for them.

˝I will kill him.˝ You said breaking the silence. Taking a deep breath you collected yourself like your father taught you. You moved quickly through the house taking the money from the safe and placing the guns and knives in the metal suitcase. After packing some of your clothes and food you called one of your father’s contacts to arrange a plane for you. Not even an hour later you were on your way to Wakanda, to the place about which Erik could never stop talking about and about which your father told you everything.


	2. Chapter 2

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have abilities to manipulate with people, making them see whatever you want. As a child, you were held in the government facility, but Ulysses Klaue took you and he is like a father to you now.   
> One day when your phone doesn’t ring when it should be, you know that something went wrong and you are sure that your ex-lover Erik had something to do with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t read if you didn’t watch the movie yet, I think that there are spoilers or could be in the future parts!! Past is written in italic!!
> 
> Warning: cursing, implications of sex (not an actual act or anything like that).….….

 

There were a lot of bad memories in your life. However, since you turned eleven there came good once, mostly with your father, but also some with Erik. Still, none of them were replaying in your mind constantly. The one that did wasn’t a real memory, it was created; one that you made for yourself not ready to deal with the real one. It was the one for which you hoped that was the way you and Erik parted.

 

_˝Will you ever tell me anything about your past? ˝ Erik asked while trailing his fingers over your naked back. It’s been a week since you both saw each other and you just wanted to enjoy his company._

_˝I wish I could, but I don’t remember most of it.˝ You said with your head turned to the side watching him._

_˝What do you remember?˝ Erik was genuinely interested in you. You’ve been together since you called him a few months after your meeting in the bookstore. You were a caring and sweet person, but still strong with awful past behind you. He loved you and it confused him because he didn’t even know anything basic about you, but still, he knew you. Never in his life, could he guess who you really were because with him you felt normal, although you both were far from that._

_˝Erik, we talked about this.˝ You reached with your hand towards his face, but he didn’t give you a chance for your fingers to touch his skin._

_˝You still don’t trust me?!˝ He sat up on the bed while you stayed lying not knowing what to say._

_˝If I didn’t trust you I wouldn’t be here.˝_

_˝But you keep everything from me. How do you know people like Ulysses Klaue and from what are you running from?˝_

_You stayed silent and he shook his head not believing what was happening._

_You finally set up, holding the thin sheet against your chest, suddenly feeling exposed. ˝I know that you shared your past and your future with me, but I can’t do the same. I care about you; I’ve never been close to anybody before like I’ve been with you for past two years.˝ You took a deep breath aware of what you had to do. You knew that he wouldn’t let it go and you couldn’t let him find out what and who you are. ˝I wish that you could go past it, but I know you can’t. And that is why this has to end.˝ You succeeded in staying calm and you noticed that it angered Erik, to him it seemed like you didn’t care._

_˝You care about me, you can’t say that you love me? It makes sense you only say it in the heat of the moment, once I actually thought that you really meant it, but you didn’t, right?˝_

_˝If it makes you feel better to think like that than do it, but I know the truth and you know it too.˝ You got up from the bed stopping for a moment to look at him, but he refused to do the same. Grabbing your clothes from the ground you quickly put it on not caring about anything that you were about to leave at his place except him. Approaching the side of the bed where he was still sitting with his head against the headboard you placed your fingers under his jaw. ˝We all run from different things, but none of us runs at the same pace. Telling you about me would only end in hurting me and those I love and I love you.˝ After those words left your mouth he lifted his chin and you placed your lips against his. ˝I really do love you.˝ You whispered against his lips before leaving too fast for him to say it back or to try to stop you._

 

* * *

 

You walked with a confident step towards the border where you could already see people gathering as you were approaching. You were dressed in mostly black clothes with combat-boots. You left the metal suitcase in the plane after putting two guns behind your back and a few knives around your legs.

˝Who are you?˝ The man who was the closest to you asked and you stopped walking.

˝I believe that you have my father’s body.˝ You said as it was the most obvious thing.

˝I think that you should turn around and leave.˝

˝Well, I don’t think so˝, you smiled and before they could do anything you pulled the gun from behind your back and pressed the end of the barrel at the man’s head.

˝We are simply far..˝

˝Oh, God, shut up!˝, you were getting tired of lies, yours and everybody else’s. ˝I know who you are, sweetheart. I know all about Wakanda and I want my father’s body to bury him.˝

˝Who is your father?˝ One of the men asked.

˝Ulysses Klaue ˝, there was a moment of silence until you spoke again. ˝I want to bury my father.˝

˝Why would you think that he is here?˝ Asked the man who was the first one to speak to you. He was dressed in what you assumed was Wakanda’s traditional clothes, but what caught your attention was the rhino behind them, however, you quickly looked away from it.

˝My best guess is that Erik Killmonger came here with my father so that you could let him in.˝ You pulled the safety on the gun and the man on the other side of the barrel took a deep breath.

˝And what if you won’t like the answer?˝

˝And what if I tell you that I have people around the world ready to kill your people? It’s not really hard to find you with those marks inside your mouth.˝ You pressed the barrel harder against his skin.

˝You are bluffing.˝

˝Ohh, try me˝ You said with a wide smile on your face.

˝Follow me˝ The man spoke after a few moments of silence knowing that he can’t risk other people lives.

˝Gladly˝, you lowered the gun placing it back behind your back and following the man.

 

* * *

 

You were waiting in the hallway looking outside of the window while two of kings’ guards stood a few feet away from you. You had to hand all of your weapons and you handed them without objecting, but still keeping something away from their eye. They weren’t aware that you didn’t need weapons to hurt them; you were dangerous enough without them, however, you hated to use the abilities you possessed.

˝I wasn’t aware that Ulysses Klaue had a daughter.˝ You heard the voice close behind you and multiple footsteps, yet, you didn’t turn around.

˝That wouldn’t change what happened to him. You are maybe merciful, but you still needed revenge. I understand that˝, turning around you smiled at King T’Challa. ˝ This country represents power, I have to admit that I despise it because of it. When an outsiders find out about it they will want it and they will do anything to get it and exploit its resources, just like they did with me.˝

˝I have to admit that wha…..˝

˝I don’t need your understanding or your condolence. I came here for my father’s body.˝

˝I have to apologize that I can’t give you his body. It was already taken care of.˝

˝Of course˝, tilting your head to the side you spoke. ˝What about his things, the necklace he wore.˝

˝Everything that was with him is no longer here.˝ T’Challa stood with his hands behind his back.

˝But the man who killed him is.˝ You waited for the king to say something and he nodded, but before he could say something you already began talking. ˝Than bring me him.˝

˝I ca..˝

˝You can. You are the king. You wanted my father’s death, as revenge, so I will kill your cousin to set the score straight because nobody his, died because of my father. He had no rights to do what he did.˝ You kept the eye contact waiting for his response.

˝I can bring you to him, but I cannot let you kill him.˝ He finally broke the eye contact moving to the side so that he would lead you.

˝That is good enough.˝

 

 

You walked for a few minutes with his guards behind you and one of them, the woman whose name was Okoye in front of you. She led you to the throne room where people were sitting beside the throne and you instantly caught two familiar faces.

˝Y/N?˝ Erik stood up from his place, but you ignored him walking to the man that was standing beside a young woman. You expected to see Erik here, but not the other man.

˝Agent Ross˝, you saluted mockingly. ˝You know, you all think that my father was monster, and maybe you are right, but then you all are hypocrites because you welcomed that man here˝, you moved your hand pointing at Everett Ross. ˝At least my father had a sense of humor which cannot be said for you Agent Ross.˝

˝Do I know you?˝ Almost every person that was sitting was now on their feet with Erik closes to you who tried to reach you, but the King stopped him.

˝It would be quiet sad if you don’t. Don’t you think so?˝ You smiled sweetly, taking a step closer to him.

Ross looked from you to T’Challa and back not sure of what was happening while your gaze stayed on him. You only moved your eyes from him when T’Challa spoke: ˝I would like you all to sit down, there is an urgent matter for us to discuss and it is considering our new guest.˝

˝I don’t think that you should sweet talk them, just tell them if I don’t get what I want some of your people will die.˝

Those who were standing only stood taller with their gaze fixated on your every move. Erik was only one that didn’t find that threat serious because he knew you, at least he thought so.

˝She won’t kill anyone.˝ Erik said and you nodded quickly.

˝He must be right, it’s not like just a few days ago he was talking about killing the King, am I right? I would buy the ticket to see that show˝, you laughed seeing all of their serious faces. You were trying the best you could to not break apart, while from inside you were screaming. ˝ Tough crowd, but let’s be serious, you don’t believe me, I understand. You rather believe the man who shares the king’s blood, but I am sure that agent Ross can confirm that I’ve destroyed hundreds of lives before I was even eight years old.˝

˝What is she talking about agent Ross?˝ T’Challa’s voice stayed calm, but his stance changed.

˝I do..˝

˝The reality project, I believe it was one of your first big projects.˝ While you talked you walked around the room. Seeing the architecture and the beauty of the city from outside the window you finally understood Erik’s and your father’s obsession with this country.

˝Those children, they didn’t sur..˝

˝Well here I am, sweetheart.˝

˝You couldn’t have survived the explosion.˝ Ross didn’t know what to say or what to think it was impossible for you to be there.

˝Well many of you are not aware of who my father was˝, you said louder so that everybody could hear you. ˝You kept me in the cage Ross, it wasn’t made of metal bars, but of glass, however, it was still a cage. You thought that nobody could break in, but he did. He was asked to take something powerful for a large amount of money, but he never sold it. He never sold me, Ulysses Klaue saved me from you Ross and you all killed him.˝ Your voice broke at the end, but your face stayed serious not showing the loss that you were feeling.

˝Klaue killed our people and he stole from us.˝

You could only scoff at their words because you didn’t try to justify his actions, you only wanted to hurt the man who killed him and you knew how to do it.

˝Please everybody, calm down, this is why I asked for all of you to come here so we can find a reasonable sou..˝

˝Well, I didn’t agree˝, you said leaning your back on the glass window that was reaching from the ground to the ceiling. ˝It would be enough if only Erik come here.˝

˝I don’t know the history between you and my cousin, but I..˝

˝It’s alright˝, Erik stood from his sit walking past T’Challa to you. ˝Is this why you lied this whole time?˝

˝I never lied to you Erik, I always said that I can’t tell you about my past.˝ You lowered your voice so that only he could hear you.

˝That day, I thought that you…˝

˝I didn’t die and you knew it, but˝, you stopped yourself before finishing the sentence.

˝But in your eyes, I was dead to you.˝

You only nodded before speaking quietly, almost as a whisper. ˝Do with my body the same what you did with my father’s, I w..˝

˝What are you saying? You won’t be killed, nobody will hurt you here.˝ Erik placed his palm on your neck keeping his thumb on your jaw.

˝As I was saying, I would kill you, but that wouldn’t hurt you and I have nothing left. So kill me like you almost did that night.˝ You lifted your head staring at his eyes. You could tell that he was surprised by your words.

˝I won’t hurt y..˝

˝You don’t have a choice.˝ Before he could say anything else you pulled the gun from behind your back. ˝Don’t worry they can’t see it.˝ You offered him the gun, but he didn’t take it. ˝Don’t you understand? I can show them anything I want. If you don’t kill me I will still die and they will still see you killing me so just do it. There is nothing for you to lose.˝

˝I ca..˝

˝Do it!˝ You pushed the gun into his chest and you could feel his fingers grazing yours as he took it from you. ˝I loved you, but that night you hurt me more than the bullet will now.˝

˝I love you˝, Erik whispered as he held the gun pointed at you. His hand was shaking as he couldn’t believe that once again he was in the same position. The night when you both parted your ways was the night he regretted the most in his life. It was the biggest mistake he ever made and he wished that it never happened, but he also wished that you accepted his offer more than two years ago, at the time when you both were in a good place.

 

* * *

 

_˝Erik, stop it˝, you couldn’t stop giggling as he tickled you. You were trying to move away from him on the bed only for him to bring you back by grabbing your ankles._

_˝Apologize˝, Erik held you to the bed as you couldn’t catch your breath._

_˝Never˝, you were lying below him so he lay completely on top of you caging you in his arms. ˝You weight like a whole damn building.˝_

_˝You weren’t complaining earlier˝, he kissed the top of your nose which made you smile._

_˝Because then I was enjoying it, but now I can feel my bones breaking.˝_

_˝Apologize and maybe then you will be able to enjoy.˝ He kissed your lips before kissing your nose again._

_˝Alright, you would be the most memorable king that ever lived.˝ You said while rolling your eyes and he finally let you go sitting beside you. ˝But that would be probably ‘cause you would be killed a minute later after becoming one.˝ You laughed at him while he raised his brows looking shocked at your words._

_˝You are a trouble˝ Erik pulled you closer to him so that you straddle him as he locked his hands around you._

_˝That is why you keep me around.˝ You whispered against his lips before kissing him._

_˝Would you come with me?˝ He asked under his breath grazing his lips with yours._

_˝What?˝ You were sure that you heard him correctly, but you were surprised by his question._

_˝Will you come with me to Wakanda?˝_

_˝You are still not going.˝ You said quickly, knowing that you would hurt him if you answer him honestly. You wished that you could go, but you know that you can’t leave the life you made here in America._

_˝I know, but will you come with me?˝ He started placing kisses on your jaw and lower to your neck._

_˝I don’t think that I am fit for a queen.˝ You chuckled_

_˝A queen, nobody said that you would be the queen?˝ He said against your skin before biting you, but not hard enough to draw blood._

_˝Is that how you want to play?˝ You moved your hand to the back of his neck scratching him with your nails and he let out a low growl._

_˝I always wanna play with ya.˝_

_˝Alright than, I would overthrow you.˝ You raised a brow at him when you heard his laugh. A second later he lifted his chin tilting his head to the side._

_˝You would overthrow me?˝_

_˝You don’t think that I could do it?˝ You asked moving your hand to his hair gripping it._

_˝I don’t think that you could ever hurt me. You don’t have it in you˝_

_˝Oh, really? Well, I’m sorry to inform you, but I would do it.˝_

_˝Show me˝_

_˝What?˝ You asked a bit surprised but ready for a challenge._

_˝Show me how you would overthrow me.˝_

_He didn’t have to tell you twice. You quickly pushed him to lie down as you placed your palms on his chest slowly tracing his scars with the tips of your fingers._

_˝I can tell you that you would kneel before me.˝ Before you could close the distance Erik rolled you over hovering above you._

_˝I would do anything for you.˝ He whispered moving his palm to your shoulder as he glared into your eyes. ˝I love you˝_

_Before you could respond he kissed you and then lay down beside you. He was afraid that you won’t say it back and that was why he didn’t give you a chance, but to you, he only put it on hold because you were ready to say it back._

_˝I love you˝ You said placing your lips on the back of his palm that he was keeping beside your head._

_˝If you come with me you won’t need to run anymore˝ Erik was holding you in his arms close to his chest afraid that you will leave if he loosens his hold and he couldn’t be happier at the moment hearing your words, but he wanted to stay like that so he had to make you that proposition._

_˝I wish that I could believe in that˝, you whispered too quietly for him to hear knowing that you will have to run until the day you die._


	3. Chapter 3

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Summary:   
> You have abilities to manipulate with people, making them see whatever you want. As a child, you were held in the government facility, but Ulysses Klaue took you and he is like a father to you now.   
> One day when your phone doesn’t ring when it should be, you know that something went wrong and you are sure that your ex-lover Erik had something to do with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t read if you didn’t watch the movie yet, I think that there are spoilers or could be in the future parts!! Past is written in italic!!
> 
> Warning: cursing, blood….

* * *

 

_Erik was sitting at the foot of the bed with his elbows on his thighs in one hand holding a gun and in other an open envelope. The gun was in his hand, but he didn’t have a strong grip on it he held it lightly just staring at it. You were still asleep not aware of the thoughts that were going through his head. He wished that he didn’t open the envelope and that he had never seen its content. Now he had to make a decision._

_Opening your eyes you immediately noticed that something was wrong. The side next to you was empty and cold and when your gaze met Erik’s back you could see the discomfort on him. His shoulders were slumped and his head was low. You didn’t know if you should say something or just hug him, but something in the back of your mind told you that you were the cause of it so you didn’t move towards him. You sat up pulling your knees closer to your chest, you were sure that Erik noticed the movement, but he stayed silent for a few more minutes. You wished that he would just tell you what was happening, but you could only assume that at the moment he speaks it will become your reality. Hoping for the silence to prolong you tugged the edges of the cover nervously not ready for what you had with him to be over, but certain that today it will come to an end._

_˝How do you know Ulysses Klaue?˝ Erik spoke not turning around. He finally tightened the grip on the gun waiting for you to lie to him, but you didn’t._

_˝I can’t tell you˝, you immediately responded knowing that the truth wouldn’t help you. Telling the truth to him would only make you hate him because he can’t trust you without knowing it._

_˝I won’t ask you again˝, raising his voice he glanced back at you only to look back a second later._

_In that moment you saw the sadness on his face and you saw fear. You knew what he feared off, but you couldn’t do anything from stopping his fear to come true._

_˝Well, you don’t have to ask because I won’t give you an answer.˝_

_˝This is not the time for that kind of attitude˝, Erik hesitantly stood up from the bed facing you._

_Your eyes instantly fell on the gun in his hand that was pointed to the ground. You smiled sadly knowing that he is ready to do it. Sure that he would only hold the gun if he was willing to kill you, you moved the cover of your body setting your feet to the ground still sitting on the bed._

_˝From the moment I met you and from the first time you shared your ambitious with me I knew that we will end. As the time went by I was surer every day that it will end with the bullet. I thought if that time comes I could stop it, that I will fight it that I will fight you, but what’s the point?˝ Tilting your head to the side you stared at his unmoving form. ˝I was stupid to ever think that I could trust you.˝_

_˝Y/N, I just need you to answer me.˝ He was about to step closer only stopping when you lifted your hand and lowering your head. The room fell silent as the only sound was the tears drops that were dropping to the ground next to your feet._

_˝No, Erik, you took the gun in your hand, it seems like you have already made up your mind.˝_

_He stayed silent torn between what he had to do and what he didn’t want to lose. He experienced so much loss in his life and he was tired of it, but still, you were right because nobody forced him to take the gun._

_˝What’s in the envelope? ˝_

_˝Nothing if I decide to ignore it˝ he simply said shifting on his feet not knowing what to do._

_˝So it’s my decision how we go from here? ˝ You asked standing up._

_Erik didn’t have time to answer when he saw you raising the gun in your hand. He didn’t even notice from where it came from, but he reacted instinctively. Before he could stop himself you were already falling to the ground. He let the gun to slip through his fingers as he quickly moved to kneel next to your body. He didn’t even notice that your hand was empty and that no weapon was near you._

_˝You shot me? ˝ You asked partially not believing that he would do that to you.  The wound in your abdomen was heavily bleeding and you were struggling to breathe._

_˝I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to hur…˝ He stopped talking as you gripped his upper arm gaining his attention._

_˝Leave˝, you said quietly not able to raise your voice._

_˝You will die.˝_

_˝Leave˝, you said again looking at him with hate._

_He didn’t want to leave you; he didn’t want to hurt you it was never his intention. His whole life he was dealing with the loss, but now it was the first time for him that it was his fault. Hesitantly he moved from your bleeding body wanting to respect your wish. He didn’t leave far away calling the ambulance immediately after stepping outside the room._

_He wasn’t aware that the minute he saw you standing up from the bed it wasn’t you.  You kept sitting watching from the side as the man you love pulled the trigger ready to kill you. You wanted to hurt him you wanted him to see you die in front of his eyes, but you couldn’t._

_After he left the room you made sure to walk out of the apartment so that he could see you from wherever he was. You knew him, so you knew that he wouldn’t leave without knowing that you were alright._

_Since that day he called you many times, he left voicemails, but you never answered and you never listened to them, however, you could never throw away the phone. It was as a small piece of him was still with you, but it wasn’t because as much as you wanted to be with him you had to remind yourself that he was the one who killed you._

 

* * *

 

The sound of something hitting the ground woke you up, but you stayed still not opening your eyes.   There were so many questions on your mind, but you didn’t dare to really ask yourself any of them. What surprised you the most when you came to Wakanda was seeing Erik with T’Challa, but somehow you found an explanation for that, however, you couldn’t understand it.

You could feel that you weren’t alone in the room so you lifted your eyelids only to see a girl with her back to you. Surprised that you weren’t tied down or in the cuffs, you sat up.

˝What did you do to me? ˝ Your voice was raspy while you talked, but what bothered you the most were your muscles that were stiff and hurt to move.

˝You could fool my mind, but not my technology.˝ The girl turned around stepping closer to you. ˝I’m Sh…˝

˝I know who you are. What I want to know is why would your brother leave you here all alone with someone like me? ˝ You wanted to stand up but you decided against it to wait for your muscles to relax for a bit.

˝How do you know who I am? ˝ She ignored your question for now waiting for your replay.

˝I did my research and I looked inside your head when I walked in the throne room.˝

˝Is that how you did it in those videos when you were…˝ She stopped for a moment not knowing what word would be the best to use not wanting to upset you as her brother told you not to mention to you your past and to inform him the minute you wake up.

˝When I was a puppet, a child taken against its will and trained to kill? You really want to know how I did it?˝

Shuri nodded sating down a little away from you.

˝Lets take you for example. I need one look inside your head focusing on your fears to find out what could scare you to death. Then I show you what you were dreading to see, I show you the monsters that were creeping from underneath your bed. However, I don’t show them in the way you expect them; I showed them a thousand times worse. I made you lose your mind in a matter of minute because the thought, the idea of your fear is already inside your brain and I only bring it to life for you.˝ You licked your dried lips after you finished.

˝If you can look inside their heads why didn’t you just take the information that they wanted you?˝ Shuri offered you a bottle of water that you took with a small smile on your lips.

˝No you don’t understand it. I wasn’t trained to take information; I was trained to be a monster. They wanted me to destroy lives by making people lose their minds or manipulate with their biggest fears to do whatever I would tell them. It was a game of power, planting bombs inside people’s heads so that they would become your puppets not even aware of it, at least that was their plan. Now answer me˝

˝I told my brother that I can handle being alone her because if I wasn’t in the throne room you would be dead and I don’t even know what would happen to my cousin for killing an unarmed person.˝ By now Shuri was standing beside the table where you were sitting in one way showing you that she wasn’t afraid.

˝I don’t understand you or Erik. Why would he stay here while T’Challa is on the throne? His whole life he talked about going to Wakanda and doing what has to be done, he wanted to help his people, you don’t know what he has been through. You’ve grown up here, safe while out there so many children are killed every day. ˝

˝Nakia was saying my brother the same thing, but not in the same measures. I don’t stand for the same things Erik does, he wants to share our weapons and do revolutions and that would make us the same as the people we are fighting with. Fortunately, he and my brother made an agreement.˝ Shuri was walking away from you heading to the door. Glancing back she looked at you ˝Come on, follow me.˝

It took you longer than usual to reach her due to the ache in your muscles. ˝What did th..˝

˝ I don’t know. ˝

˝Shuri, stop.˝ You looked at the ground not sure if you want to follow her. ˝You should’ve left me to die. I came here with one thought on my mind and now I don’t have anything. He is not hurting, my father is dead and I’m treated as if I’m not a threat.˝

˝You are not a t..˝

Before she could finish her sentence you pushed her into the wall taking her by surprise and keeping your hand around her neck. ˝You have seen what I have done, I can do it again. I see your fear, Shuri. It’s unique, not regular as in ordinary people, but you are far from that, right?˝

Shuri stayed silent knowing that there was nobody holding her. She trailed your movement and she could see on her device that you are not even standing close to her.

˝The rationality of the mind can’t always win. I know that you know, but do you really know? You think that technology can save you from your fear, but it can’t because I can show you whatever I want, see for yourself.˝ The second you finished talking the force on her neck loosened and you weren’t in front of her or in the place her device was showing just a second earlier.

˝Shit˝, Shuri said under her breath searching for you on the device only to see that it’s deactivated. She just lost the person who she was supposed to keep away from everybody until T’Challa talks to you. She couldn’t afford to lose any more time quickly calling Okoye and searching for you before her brother finds out.

 

* * *

 

_˝Will I ever be able to stop running? ˝ You looked at your father who was sitting next to you on the ground. He held you tight to him with his hand around your shoulders and with other holding your hand that couldn’t stop shaking._

_˝People like us can never stop running.˝_

_˝Than what is the point in living? ˝ You were shaken up after the job that you were assigned to execute. Things didn’t go in the way you hoped that they would and the outcome left you horrified. The blood was everywhere and the screams were still in your head._

_˝What is the point? The point is that you are alive; you can do whatever you want.˝_

_˝No I can’t, I can’t even go outside without covering my face, I don’t have friends I don’t have anyone except you.˝ You wished that you stopped yourself from saying those words but now was too late in trying to take them back._

_˝I’ve been living this life longer than you and I enjoy it because I gave it a chance and before you I was alone, but still in the better place than you are now. Your mind, the way you think will be your downfall. Only thing that makes me worry is that you will destroy yourself and that is why you shouldn’t take everything seriously.˝_

_˝I’m not like you.˝_

_He chuckled at your words ˝Of course you’re not and you shouldn’t be.˝_

_˝If something ever happens to you I don’t know how I will keep going.˝ You looked up at him seeing the sadness on his face._

_˝You have to keep going no matter what. I know that you are not thrilled with what we do, but there are also good things present.˝_

_˝Yeah, I saw the ocean.˝ You smiled widely remembering the first time your father brought you to the beach._

_˝Yes, you saw the ocean and so many other things. So when I’m gone you keep going, alright?˝ He squeezed your hand aware that he won’t always be there for you._

_˝I can’t promise you that.˝ Your head was hanging low and your eyes got teary at the thought of him being gone._

_˝Because you are scared?˝_

_˝I’m not scared of anything.˝ You quickly interfered not wanting him to think that you are weak._

_˝That is not truth, what did I say about lying to me or to yourself? ˝ He moved his hand from your shoulder to your chin to make you look at him._

_˝I know dad.˝ You said quietly._

_˝What are you afraid of?˝ He didn’t let go of your chin waiting for your answer, knowing that you have to accept your fear to overcome it._

_˝That I will be left alone.˝ Your response sounded more like a question than an answer. Your father could only shake his head at that._

_˝No, what is your fear, the source of it? What scares you the most?!˝ Raising his voice a bit to get the true answer you finally said what he knew was the truth._

_˝Of being left alone with my own thoughts.˝_


	4. Chapter 4

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> You have abilities to manipulate with people, making them see whatever you want. As a child, you were held in the government facility, but Ulysses Klaue took you and he is like a father to you now.   
> One day when your phone doesn’t ring when it should be, you know that something went wrong and you are sure that your ex-lover Erik had something to do with it.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Don’t read if you didn’t watch the movie yet, I think that there are spoilers or could be in the future parts!! Past is written in italic!!
> 
> Warning: cursing, blood, sad things, implied suicide

 

 

* * *

 

˝ That girl is playing with us˝, Okoye was furious since the moment Shuri told her what happened, but of course Shuri didn’t say exactly everything.

˝She has nothing left, Okoye. She just lost her father˝, Erik said, however, he could see clearly on Okoye’s face that it didn’t matter to her.

˝I also lost my father recently˝ T’Challa added and Erik scoffed at his words. ˝Does that amuse you?˝

˝You lost your father, but you still have a mother, a sister should I continue?˝ Erik asked and after nobody said anything he started speaking again. ˝She has no one left except me, but she doesn’t want me. She is lost.˝

˝And should we let her go wherever she wants and do what she wants because she has nobody. What should we tell our people that a crazy girl is …˝

˝She is not crazy!˝ Erik was seriously angry right now. He knew that Okoye doesn’t approve anything he does, but he didn’t care, nevertheless, he always defended you even if you didn’t need that from him.

˝Than what is she? How many of our rules should we bend just that you would keep that girl here?˝ Okoye asked staring intensely at him.

˝I don’t care˝, Erik shrugged his shoulders tired of everyone looking down on him and you.

˝I do and as a king, I have to do something about her.˝

˝Kill her or lock her somewhere? That’s not a life that she would ever agree on˝ Erik asked getting closer to T’Challa.

˝You saw what she is capable of and you heard Ross what he said about the program. My father wanted to…˝ T’Challa spoke with his voice raised trying to be calm, but worried that he will make the same mistakes as his father has.

˝I know what he wanted. He would lock her in the cage if he was here, or he would kill her like he killed my father.˝

˝He made a wrong decision that day.˝ T’Challa stepped away from Erik and Okoye turning his back to them and observing the throne.

˝No, T’Challa. Every day of his life he made a decision of leaving his nephew behind. He could’ve come back, but he never did. This time I will make a decision instead of the king. We know where she is, I will go talk to her and after that, I will leave with her.˝

˝You just got here˝, he glanced back at his cousin.

˝I chose her. I did here, what I wanted. You are finally going to take care of our people. You gave your word and I will hold you onto it. Our people are finally in good hands with you, Nakia and Shuri, but she is all alone.˝ Erik kept his voice low talking directly to T’Challa not acknowledging Okoye anymore.

˝You are choosing her over everything that brought you here?˝ He couldn’t believe that Erik would say something like that aware of what he did to get here, but he could understand it.

˝I lived my entire life wanting to be here to make a change, but for me is not needed to stay here anymore, so I’ll leave.˝ Erik didn’t give a chance for any of them to speak quickly leaving the throne room.  

 

 

* * *

 

_˝One day you will be my queen˝, Erik said silently so that he wouldn’t disturb your sleep. You were already sleeping for about half an hour; falling asleep on the couch cuddled beside him._

_There weren’t a lot of things that could keep Erik calm for a long time, but you did it so easily not even aware of what you were doing. Just having you in his arms gave him a sense of peace that was lacking in his life._

_˝I’m not a sidekick˝, you murmured not bothered to open your eyes only pressing your back closer to his chest._

_˝A queen is not a sidekick˝, he said before placing a kiss on the top of your head._

_˝She is not if the king is dead.˝_

_˝What?˝ He laughed at your response._

_˝Stop laughing, you’re shaking me.˝ You swiftly turned in his hands to face him. Your noses were touching and you flinched back as you felt his tongue against your lips. ˝What is wrong with you?˝ Your eyes were wide and you were trying to hide your smile by tilting your head to the side._

_˝What’s wrong with me? Nothing really, but the real question is what’s wrong with you, did you hit your head while I’ve been gone so you saying things that have no sense now?˝ He bumped your nose with his finger and you giggled._

_˝I’m serious Erik. If the king and queen are in power at the same time, it mostly means that the queen is there just to be beside the king. The king is always the one who sits on the throne.˝ You moved your head to his chest letting him press you closer. Taking a deep breath you inhaled his scent and your smile only grew larger because he was finally with you, he became your home._

_˝If you were my queen you would have the same power as me.˝_

_˝Not true, you just confirmed it. As if I need your permission? I’m no sidekick.˝ You murmured against his chest kissing the little bumps on his skin before closing your eyes._

_˝You are not. You are my best friend and if I never get the throne you would still be the queen.˝_

_You just relaxed your body against his falling into a deeper stage of sleep as he was running his fingers through your hair helping you to sleep calmer._

_˝My queen.˝_

 

* * *

 

˝Isn’t it beautiful?˝ You asked after hearing footsteps through the water where you were sitting. Your clothes were completely wet as your legs were hanging from the edge.

˝You shouldn’t sit that close to the edge˝

You weren’t surprised by his statement; however, the closeness to the death didn’t bother you. At this point in your life, you couldn’t care less if you fell over the edge because in your mind you were already falling. ˝I’ve never seen so many different animals before. They are amazing; I wished I had more time to see the world.˝ You let yourself to smile as you saw a giraffe in the distance on the other side.

˝There is still tim…˝

˝My dad offered me so many times to take me to the zoo so that I could see animals because he knew that I can only connect with them. Animals don’t judge, but I always said no. Why would I pay for seeing a caged animal? How could somebody like me watch another life in the exact place where I used to be? He wanted to help, but didn’t know how exactly.˝ You moved your fingers over the little stones that were piercing through the surface.

˝You are just filling out of the place, which can be changed. If you just give me a chance to help you.˝

You turned your body towards him but with your legs still in the same place. Looking up you saw him standing a few feet away from you. ˝Why would you think that somebody like you could help somebody like me, how can somebody broken, fix somebody whose pieces are shattered?˝

˝I may be broken, but it doesn’t mean I can’t help you.˝ Erik came closer, he gave you enough time for you to tell him to leave, but you didn’t so he sat down next to you.

˝You can’t trust me, Erik, I don’t even trust myself. If I were you I wouldn’t be sitting that close you never know what comes to my mind.˝ You looked away from him.

˝I know that you would never hurt me.˝ Erik took your hand in his not giving you a chance to move away from him. Before you he thought that he will never be the person who will care about somebody else, but meeting and getting too know you he found hope. Many times he didn’t even want to get to close to you, but you would always find a way to get to him and this time he had to find a way to get to you, to real you who is screaming and crying from the inside.  

˝But I have already hurt you and I will again, because you took him from me and even before that, Erik you shot me.˝ You said silently.

˝I never meant for it to happen.˝ His hold on your hand tightened and he moved the other to your chin lifting it with the tips of his fingers.

˝Still you took the gun in your hand while I was asleep. It makes me wonder after knowing how many you killed is it possible that you would kill me while I was asleep if I haven’t woken up.˝

˝I would never do that.˝ His hands instantly moved away from you genuinely hurt by what you were saying. His face showed no emotion as he was still trying to process everything that you said.

˝It seems that you aren’t aware of your own thoughts. You are a murderer and you will always be that. You can’t love because you don’t know what love is. You were never loved after your father was killed so don’t even try to tell me that you wouldn’t do it because I know. I always know.˝

˝You don’t know what you are talking about. Is that how you see me after all the time we spent together?˝ He was standing on his feet now trying to stay calm, but with your every word he was getting angrier.

˝But am I really wrong, Erik?˝ You stood up coming closer to him.

˝Yes˝, the vein on his neck was getting more pronounced as he couldn’t stay calm any longer.

˝I don’t know if that is true. I’m not even sure what I think about what happened, there are so many thoughts inside my head screaming at me. They want me to hurt you, but I don’t want to at least I think so. However all the thoughts are agreeing on one thing˝, you reached towards him touching the ring on the chain with the tips of your fingers. Gripping the metal you moved the necklace from around his neck now holding the ring in your open palm. ˝What you always wanted was the throne, not a girl with the bomb inside her head.˝

˝ Your mind can be fixed, they are just thoughts˝ placing his palm on the back of yours he closed your fingers with his around the ring.

˝The thoughts that can kill and the only one responsible will be me. I can’t let that happen. I did so many things wrong and it will only get worse˝

He hated hearing you say things like that about yourself, but his saddened expression was changed quickly by confusion when he saw a smile forming on your face.

˝So what are we going to do?˝ He looked down at you as you moved closer tangling your fingers behind his neck still holding the chain. He didn’t stop you wanting to feel you close to him.

You didn’t respond using words only thing you did was stepping on your toes before pressing your lips to his. You poured everything you had into that kiss not seeing the point of arguing with the man you still loved or to feed him with lies. You didn’t want to hurt him anymore because you were never right, he did betray you, but he wasn’t the monster, you were. Slowly moving away from him he tightened his hold around your waist.

˝We will move on˝, you whispered against his lips.

Erik instantly opened his eyes after hearing your words not seeing you in front of him. He moved his hands to his side, not knowing where you disappeared.

˝Love, this ain’t funny!˝ There was a bit of playfulness in his voice thinking that you were just playing with him, but silence followed and he was getting worried.

˝No, no, no.˝ He kept repeating as he saw something in the water close to the cliff. ˝Please, don’t…˝ He fell to his knees grabbing the ring on the chain from the water. It was it, the end of his and your story, but he only hoped for yours to continue although aware that it ended on the edge of the cliff, at the same exact place where he should have kept his promise becoming the king and you his queen.


End file.
